I Need to Write

I need to write—
Fantasy, thriller, action, sex—
Yeah, that’ll catch their attention.

Raising Chaos and Order,
wrapped in mental disorder—
but they’re mine.

I need to write—
“Sorry, we’re moving forward without you.
Good luck in future employment.”

Damn…

I need to write—
Another argument with you.
Look baby, I know apologies ain’t enough.

I need to write.

Betrayal again?
Ain’t nothing new.
I need to write.
You can’t manipulate my mind—
I’m so tired and through.

I need to write—
Can you at least be grown enough
to admit when it’s you?

I need to write—
Oh, I’m Bi now?
Because I asked you to
stop speaking poison?

To be present, instead of weakly.
To build something real
with your kin?

Bet.
I need to write.

It’s been a long time…
This heart of mine is used to being broken by you.

I need to write—
But these children of mine,
this family of mine—
it’s called Kintsugi.
Cracked, but golden.
Broken, but still whole.

I need to write…
I need to write…

Little Black child—
you need to write something
Black
and golden.